Finding My New Normal

by Michele Page

After my divorce in the Fall of 2015, there was so much I didn’t know and had to learn about taking care of my home. With the help of family and friends, I am learning.  My first winter was upon me and living in Northern Michigan meant lots of cold, white ick! My ex gave me a quick review on how to use his snow blower that I acquired from the divorce, but when it was time to use it I was PETRIFIED! It’s a monster of a machine , seriously! My ex is 6’2 and 300lbs, so he could handle the beast.  So needless to say, my shovel and I became good friends until Mother Nature dumped on me.  I sent out a “Mayday” to my older brother for an impromptu Snow Blower 101 class and by the end of the day the beast was slayed! Now in the midst of my second winter, I am a pro throwing snow with my male neighbors! Well, maybe not a pro, but hey!…..where’s my atta girl?

snowflake

I remember my mom saying that she liked to mow the grass, but with three brothers it was something I never had to do……until now.  One summer day, the mower and I came to an understanding.  Gas…check! Oil…check! Then one day….na-da.  Second “Mayday” to my dad who rescued me with a new spark plug, but only after making it a teaching moment.  He is so worried about me being on my own.  I was 20 when I got married and went from living with my parents to my new husband.  For 20 years, I took care of the house and kids, and he did the outside. I understand why my mom liked mowing her grass because I do too.

My oldest son taught me how to play catch.  He handed my his extra baseball glove and said I’d need to learn, so I could help him practice when he was at my house.  Granted, I am not the best and flinch when the ball comes flying at my head, but we laughed and bonded on a whole other level.  He gives me strength when I am weak, hugs me when I cry and loves me no matter what!

glove

images.fineartamerica.com

After Emily died, I had to find the “new me” and here I am re-creating Michele 2.0!  I stumble and sometimes am slow to stand, but rise I do.  There are days my depression and anxiety make things harder, but once again I am learning to cope and handle what life throws at me. During the weeks when the boys are with their dad, I struggle a bit more being alone.  My kittens, my little stinkers keep mama company . Thomas and Lily have been the source of laughter, warm snuggles and mischief as the days pass till the boys come back.  I am learning to be gentle with myself and allow the occasional bad day.

Spring is around the bend. So that means the snow blower will be put away and my mower and I will become reacquainted.

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2 thoughts on “Finding My New Normal

  1. Thank you so much for sharing! It’s a hard toss becoming the so called “man of the house” when we as women, could do it all along, with or without a man. The traditional roles and the “Chores” that comes with those roles never apply when you’re a single parent or divorced. Proud of you for finding out you had IT all the time!

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